The government has significantly cut funding to TAFE colleges and courses across Victoria. Now where are people supposed to spend a year and a half between completely fucking up high school and completely fucking up adulthood?

- Ben Vernel

@BenVernel

I guess Grant just couldn’t Hackett anymore

- Shannon Barnes

@Shannon_B8

Richard Grenell, Mitt Romney’s homosexual spokesman on Foreign Policy resigned today. Romney commented “He just up and quit. How gay is that?”

- Josh Samuels

@JoshSamuels2

Harvey Norman’s profits slide. Apparently people are buying things on the internet, because it’s cheaper. And they don’t have to deal with the thinly veiled desperation of a sales force made up of failed indie bands and real estate agents. Welcome to the future, douchebags.

- Xavier Toby

@xaviertoby

Former High Court judge Michael Kirby says being gay is like being left-handed, but everyone knows it’s easier if you’re ambidextrous.

- Ingrid Elkner

@IngridElkner

The federal government has said they will pay families $300 a week to temporarily house asylum seekers to help deal with increasing amounts of arrivals. They will also film it in front of a studio audience as part of their “classic sitcom scenario” initiative.

- Leo Silvestrini

To the mother in the US that allegedly took her 6 year old daughter to a tanning salon; no amount of tanning with make up for the fact that your daughter is a ranga.

- Lauren Bok

@bokla

Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’ sells for $116million, which means roughly $8million in royalties for Macaulay Culkin.

- Jo Thornely

@jothornely

If you’d like to contribute to the News Round-up, get in touch on Twitter (@benvernel or @bonvivantau) or via email (bv@bon-vivant.com.au)