Kids, don’t let your friends drunkenly name your babies.

It’s time for the double whammy season finale of How I Met Your Mother season seven. The creators are unsure if season eight will be the last so you could expect some cliff hangers… but if you did, you’ll be disappointed.

Lily’s in labour and Marshall and Barney are stuck in Atlantic City (extraordinarily inebriated). They are too drunk to drive home, can’t catch a break and cannot communicate properly with their slurry non-words. Barney and Marshall make a deal if Barney gets them to the hospital before the birth of the baby he can choose the middle name. He continually says ‘Wait for it…’ until Marshall realises that’s his choice of middle name- Waitforit.

Meanwhile, Lily is being calmed (not well) by Robin and Ted. They reminisce on stories such as Barney picking up as The Terminator, testing whether or not banana peels are slippery (they are), Halloween Breakfast Club and Robin hooking up with Neil Young… only it wasn’t Neil Young at all. They also tell the story of the unknown door at McClarens and throughout the episode they flashback to each of the gang as they wander through the mysterious door. It turns out to be a broom cupboard where they scare Marshall… not too exciting. Unfortunately these are interrupted by a call from Lily’s dad who has been alerted to her situation by Ted and who is the worst person to have in hospital and he’s on his way.

Barney finally has a plan- catch a ride with a bus of seniors! Not hot college seniors unlike his dreams but the sherry-drinking, octogenarian types. Meanwhile, in true modern TV style, Lily arrives at the hospital too late for an epidural… shock. Also arriving shortly after is her dad however this time he’s incredibly supportive.

Marshall and Barney are on the bus but it’s not going to Manhattan. They try to convince the driver to drop them in the city but he won’t. All of a sudden, every senior on the bus pretends they are having a heart attack and they need to get to the Manhattan hospital. Marshall finally arrives to Lily’s side and their baby boy is born. The gang coo over Marvin (named after Marshall’s late father) Waitforit Erikson.

The second half of this episode reminds us of the big mystery we want solved; who is Barney’s Bride? Is it Quinn, is it Robin or is it some random chick we haven’t met yet?

The issues between Robin and Ted are put to for Marvin’s sake. Considering they’re friends again Robin dishes Ted some advice; stop going for girls with huge complications that will prevent any relationship from working out. The only girl that didn’t happen with was Victoria and Ted ruined that to be with Robin. Ted decides to give her a call.

Meanwhile Barney is moping about a fight with Quinn and is concerned about what he might find when gets home. His two worst nightmares are Quinn organising an eight-way but not allowing him to film or that she’s simply moved out and left him. When he arrives she’s redecorated his house to look like “Tinkerbell’s vagina” but is delighted she’s still there. They decide to go on a holiday together.

A week down the track and Marshall and Lily are getting used to the fact they are parents. They tell Ted he can’t come to them with little nuisances anymore and they are only to be called in on problems rating an 8 or higher. He’s also cross because Robin was chosen to take the birth announcement photo yet she can’t seem to get it right.

Ted calls Victoria and asks her to meet him later that day and she says she might have a “thing on” but will try to get there. She does get there… in a wedding dress. Yikes! Meanwhile Barney and Quinn are preparing for their trip to Hawaii but end up detained by security because of a mystery box in Barney’s luggage. He refuses to reveal what it contains because of The Magician’s Code. He was taught the value of this secret code by his mentor (also just a guy who was sexing his mum) in 1993.

Ted and Victoria are conducting casual chitchat before he finally asks her about her wedding. She was to marry Klaus that afternoon but fled the scene as soon as she heard from Ted. She goes to the bathroom and Ted calls Robin, Marshall and Lily who accept this is a problem rating 10 on the scale. Robin supports the idea he should run away with Victoria however Lily reminds Ted of that time HE was left at the altar by Stella and doesn’t think he should do the same. He decides to take the dive and run away with Victoria and at the same time Robin snaps the perfect first outing photo of Marvin Waitforit Erikson… at the bar.

Barney is tasered by security after breaking out of his handcuffs with magic. Quinn reveals she quit her job at the stripclub for Barney’s sake but if Barney doesn’t reveal what is in the box they’ll be all over. Using awesome magic Barney makes various objects appear around the room (much to the delight of one of the security guys) and the box undergoes several stages of transformation. Its ultimate ending is a rose that grows and blooms to reveal an engagement ring. Quinn says yes. Barney’s future wife is revealed… OR IS SHE?!

At the apartment, Robin tries to rush the new family to the park to get a nicer photo but instead finds Marshall, Lily and Marvin asleep in a picture perfect scene. Barney and Quinn arrive to announce their engagement (did they ever go to Hawaii?!) and Robin and Barney exchange a look and a few niceties.

As Ted and Victoria drive off into the sunset, Ted tells her she must go back to the wedding. They first agree to pretend this situation never happened but Ted relives his memories with Victoria and drives her past the church and off into the distance to continue their own love story. Poor Klaus!

Fast forward to Barney’s wedding day and Marshall and Ted are talking about all the twists and turns that had got them there but how it all makes sense. Lily tells Ted the bride needs to see him and the camera pans up to reveal our mystery woman in white; Robin. YAHOO! Sorry Quinn fans. So season eight looms in what could be the last with many questions still to be answered. Will Ted find the mother? How does Barney go from being engaged to Quinn to marrying Robin? What’s next for Lily and Marshall? How does a sitcom do this and wrap it all up nicely? Stay tuned for next year’s recaps fellow HIMYMers.