Whilst peeing in a cubicle with the door open instead of a urinal may seem the perfect compromise between your fear of other men and your fear of the judgement of other men, it really just shows that you have thought far too much about it and deserve further ridicule from the other men you [...]
Of all the sciences, biology is literally the one closest to my heart. Physics is just practical mathematics. Chemistry is just soggy physics. But biology is something special. If you could take a little pile of perfectly ordinary chemicals (from Bunnings, say), and arrange them into just the right arrangement of gooey layers, you could [...]
Bon Vivant has asked me to write a sports column, and if there’s one thing I definitely know heaps about, no question, it’s the sports. Man, if I had a dollar for everything I knew about sport and shit, I’d be a millionaire and I’d spent it all on sports stuff. I LOVE SPORTS, OK [...]
Hi there everyone! This is the third in my ‘information series of popular things I have never seen nor have any interest in much to the chagrin of a lot of people on the internet’. I’m sure I could come up with a catchier name later, but I almost definitely won’t. Anyway, I thought it [...]
Boners. One of life’s mysteries. Who gets them? Why do they get them? How do they get them? Why won’t they go away? How long should they last? Is there a pill or a cream I can take or apply? What about work? How can I go out like this? What if my wife stops [...]
Two months ago I joined a gym for the first time, so obviously I’m now an expert on everything gym-related, on top of all my other areas of expertise including jazz runs, emotional scarring via sarcasm and that thing you do where you imagine how a fictional conversation would go while you’re in the shower. [...]
Comedy cabaret duo Rose Sejean and Claire Bowman met in Wrongtown… or as some call it ‘the Victorian College of the Arts’. The extraordinary performing pair is back in Melbourne for the Comedy Festival. The two, alongside director Tim Ferguson, have created an hour of cabaret oddities with black comedy, heavenly harmonies, news updates, love [...]
This review is a review of the review of Jennifer Wong is Spineless, a show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, that was published on Crikey today. Please read that review here. Update: The review on Crikey has been rewritten. For the record, it was originally written as a letter directly to Jennifer and contained [...]
Getting married is one of those mysteries life provides much like the heads on Easter Island, kinder surprises (there is no surprise there- those toys are shit) and the delusion of tights as an acceptable replacement for pants. Get married, don’t get married, live tweet your kinder surprise excitement, don’t live tweet your enthusiasm but [...]
About Me: I consider myself to be quite hamsome. That is not a typo; I have a plentitude of ham, and I don’t care who knows it. I’m young enough to be virile, but old enough to be pertinent to any daddy-issues you might have (I myself don’t have any daddy-issues, but my daddy has some [...]
